The Sweetheart Date

I want to talk about a good date as I feel like the bad ones overshadow many. I met a guy on an airplane once. The reason we met was because we were stuck for hours waiting for a delayed flight. We started talking on the plane, ate snacks together, had a couple drinks, and watched the sky. Sounds romantic, right? We exchanged numbers (well- I gave him my number, as for some reason, it was like 2009 and he didn’t have a cell phone..) and he called me. I referred to him as “plane boy” to all of my friends. He was a little older so I knew the date would be decently planned. I met him in the city, at Dylan’s Candy Shop, where we went around the store and picked out the best sweets—sugar coated, sours, chocolate, everything. The reason I liked it so much was because it was SO unique. Definitely the most unique date I’d ever been on! Plus, who doesn’t love candy? After this we went to a couple cool bars (one of which had dancing, my fav). I wasn’t crazy about the guy so things didn’t really go anywhere, but it was definitely an unforgettable, sweet date, worthy of my praise. Props to the candy man. ;)

The Interrogation Room With Baggage Prober

I dated a firefighter with a lot of problems. Apparently civil service men are known for this. This guy had no lie, the Louie Vuitton of all baggage, and he carried it along as if he were taking a trip to the other side. He was approaching mid-30s and depressed about where he was in life. Despite his attraction to me, free time, and seemingly overall desire to settle down, he made little to no time and put very little effort in. He made it very clear he did not want to go out on dates, or do anything having to do with spending money. Okay, life is not all about money, I get it, but when you are interested in somebody, you need to go out on a date!!! How do you expect to get to know them or for them to know you are interested?! So eventually I had to what it seems like BEG to go out on a freakin date! So we go somewhere low-key and basically order apps (I don’t want him to think I’m using him for his crazy salary!). So as we are sitting there, he proceeds to ask me ridiculous, interrogating questions, such as “Where do you see yourself in 3 years?” “What do your parents do and what is your relationship like?” “How many relationships have you been in?” I mean this guy was crazy, and the questions were uncomfortable. Have you ever heard of, if you have to ask, you’ll never know? When I wasn’t an immediate open book to all of his deep, provoking questions he instantly got offended. So after this he kept wanting me to take pictures with him?! Needless to say this date was a shitshow. So after all of that, he still wanted to take me to a wedding, which, oh wait, he wanted ME to drive to?! I copped an attitude about it which pretty much set the tone for that night. Then an incident occurred-- we were on the dance floor, and he started acting like an immature fool. He was loud, boisterous, and all over the place, even after I asked him to stop. I immediately left and went to the ladies room because I could not deal. We ended up leaving right away, and that was a silent ride home. Surprisingly, I did see him one or two more times after this (was I out of my mind?!), and the great times kept occurring. He had me park illegally after I desperately attempted to move my car, and I blew out a tire by his place. He was 100% amenable to paying for the ticket since it was his fault. Do you think he actually did? Lets just say never date a grown, bitter man with crazy baggage, and the expectancy that you cater to him 24/7. Lesson learned.

The Nice Guy Date

So despite the majority of horrible dates I have had, there have been a few select nice guys I’ve dated. Here are the things to expect on a nice guy date: 1. He will open doors for you (this includes car, restaurant, etc.). 2. He will ask your taste of music in the car (i.e., allow you to pick the radio station). 3. He will bring you flowers (okay, this is a little corny…but sometimes nice!) 4. He will strike up interesting conversation, not bore you, and will show interest in what you have to say (without interrogating you). 5. He will switch plates with you/share his food. 6. He will ask if you want desert. 7. He will hold/kiss your hand. 8. He will pay the bill. 9. He will make you feel like a princess!

The Cheapo Creepo Datee

When I was in college I was involved in a couple groups because I thought I was cool and popular. I even managed to get elected to a top position (yup, not sure why either…hehe). Through this one group, I met a super dorky guy who studied finance, or economics, or something else incredibly boring. The whole time I was involved with this on-campus group, he looked at me like a silly little socialite blonde girl (you ever get that feeling with someone?). Needless to say I never liked him. He was dorky, snotty, dull, and lacked personality. After college I found out he had a thing for me, because he asked me out while living in the city. I was single at the time, and said sure, why not, we went to school together and were a part of this group. I found out he was living ALL the way down by Brooklyn, which was a HUGE hassle for me to get to at the time. It took me a couple trains and different modes of transportation. Now, you would think all of this transfer crap would call for a drink? Nah, we grabbed something low-key to eat and drink, and he threw down a $20 for himself. WOW. In my head I am thinking: “You dorky loser m-effer, you are lucky I even came all the way here for your plain clothes and obstinate personality.” Come on ladies, you schlep yourself down somewhere that is no where near convenient for you and the guy can’t even buy you a drink?!?!?! What is that!!! Lets not forget to mention the fact that afterwards, he PROCEEDED to try to take me elsewhere, i.e. a comedy club, drink, yogurt, etc…all on me! Finally it started raining and when we happened to pass by a subway…I jetted outta there REAL quick. “Oh it’s raining… gotta go, bye.”

If Someone is Interested in You…

1. They will take you out to dinner. Come on, guys, have you heard of chivalry? Call me old-fashioned, but if you’r’e serious about her, you need to make that clear. (And if you’re not, why are you taking her out in the first place?) 2. They will show interest. Cute texts, PHONE calls (key), little notes, anything to let her know you’re thinking of her. 3. They will travel any amount of distance to see you and not complain about it. 4. They will listen and hug you when you are feeling down. 5. They will care about what you do and who you are.

First Date Tips From a Blonde :*

Listen ladies. First dates are always a little nerve racking, but exciting at the same time. You’re meeting someone new, feeling them out, and potentially developing a new relationship. A lot of pressure!!! Here are my tips: 1) Keep it calm, easy. Only go out to dinner on the first date if he asks, don’t expect it. Usually it’s better to go to a nice quiet place and enjoy a Starbucks or have a drink at a chic place. Think about it, you DON’T really know him yet!!! You don’t wanna get stuck with someone you don’t like and not be able to have an out (same goes for dudes). 2) DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT bring up exes! NEVER EVER DO THIS! Why in the world would you EVER do this?! To make the other person feel like crap??? To boost your self-esteem? This is a given, come on now. 3) Look for little signs. i.e., does he open the door for you? Does he bring you flowers? Does he leave you cute notes? You wanna be romanced, no? 4) You need to be with someone you’re attracted to. Ask yourself if you could see a kiss happening in the near future. 5) Don’t be boring. If you’re bored by him, you might need to rethink things. 6) Keep conversations positive and light. Do not delve into why your childhood was terrible or why you are currently working at a bar. 7) Have a good time for G-d’s sake. Enjoy yourself! Throw back a couple. 8) Give everybody a fair shot. Never judge entirely by the first date.